Gemma My daughter and I were building a tower with rocks on the beach. We had seen a man rock balancing and he had created some really big, impressive structures. We would get so far and suddenly our structure would topple. This happened a few times and then my daughter began to feel frustrated every time our structure fell.
We talked about how every time the structure tumbled it was a new opportunity to try again. I could relate to my daughters frustration, so often these little insights or words of wisdom don’t come when we are invested in an outcome. I was about to say, practice makes perfect. But I hesitated, catching myself in the moment and realising how powerful the next few words could be for both of us.
The experience is the goal
I decided not to make this about a pursuit for perfection – why? Because I have learnt that perfection is an illusion and it can hollow out our experiences and take the magic from our journey if we are attached to it. In fact, if the goal is perfection then how many journeys might we avoid in life because we might fail? No, this was not about perfection, this was about trying something new, holding the experience as the goal.
Practice makes progress
I quickly rephrased and said: practice makes progress.
The words felt like gold in my mouth, I was surprised to hear them myself. I told my daughter that every time we practice we learn something new. We become masters of the rocks in front of us. We know which ones create the best foundation and we know which rocks need a little support. As I said this I thought about the man’s structures and it made even more sense to me that practice makes progress. I bet he has had more failures in rock balancing than most people. But I bet the fact that he kept on going gave way for the progress he was making. And now he was able to create impressive, imposing structures admired by us all.
It’s often through playing with my children that I learn the most important lessons in life. I had needed to hear the words, practice makes progress. I needed to remember that starting is often more important than finishing. If we are trying to live our lives more fully and more aligned with our needs and values then it is absolutely necessary to try new things, to take new journeys, to fail and learn. If we want to make progress we have to keep showing up.
